Now open for Confessions

Father John Agustus and Sister Loretta Assumpta

To put this into context for you all, John and myself went out for a quiet meal and a pint to recover from the two previous nights of debauchery that we had already undertaken in Edinburgh with Tommy Hyper, Lisa Dunner, Stevo, the Marie of Hackett and Pete.

And there we were minding our own business, quiet pints when in walked four angels. Ok, not bad, not bad at all. Then the Bishop comes in and takes control of the decks. Ok i know its Sunday, but this is taking it a little too far! But when Moses walks in and hands us a Flyer to 'One Night in Heaven' he definetly has our attention...

We had stumbled across the pre-party, so with a nod and a wink, the pints were knocked back and before long we are making ourselves collars and heading back up the road for some Celestial intervention.

"Yes my child, you will go out on a Sunday night to the Saints and Sinners One Night in Heaven Club night and yes you will be redeemed".

Getting Nun...

This club night would have to be one of the highlights of my trip so far, everyone was dressed up, there were multiple Jesus's, nuns, bishops, apostles, angels, even a dead nun, the music was great and the talent not too bad either...

I did try my hardest to break my celibacy and lets just leave it at that shall we!

Galway - Edinburgh 'Strugglin'

You can always count on a Joyce to keep you up all night talking shite and making the journey to the airport with ya, thanks Nic.
And thanks J for letting us crash on the last night, I have absolutely no idea how you managed to get to work after doing the all night vigil with Nicola and myself, but sure it was craic!
Thanks MikeJohn for getting me to the airport, twas touch and go womit all the way, actually, no I stand corrected twas womit all the way! But sure after all the drink ye fed me the night before it was going to be no other way.
But there is some consolation to be had, I predicted as much and planned my flight from the only airport I know that has a tractor taxi the plane out on the runway! Good ol Galway Airport flying Air Arann to Edinburgh.
Not the biggest Airport you will ever find yourself booking into, but I like the character, not to mention the lovely security check I was fortunate to receive. The look on the face of MikeJohn and Nic as I was frisked by a beautiful woman in my hungover state, priceless!!

Drink, feck, Galway and Cuba!

Well after 12 very busy days in Ireland, the last night was spent in Galway, cheers to all the crew for coming from Cloughanover and Clonbur, twas a great night. And in true, Im not getting on that plane unless I'm hungover as all hell, we managed to get in a few pubs and even a small bit of dancing at Cuba and top it all off with Supermacs!

Lets hope its not so long before the next session!

Sean Casey's Cottage

Ballynoonagh - Clonbur, Co.Galway

This is the site of my Grandfather, Sean Casey's thatch cottage.
The last time I was at this site the thatch had fallen partly in, the bed in the loft was still made and covered with a big patched quilt, I was 10 years old.

18 years later and the cottage once again stands proud and Im sure my grandfather would be looking down and pleased that it has been restored. The cottage has maintained its homely feel and is a credit to Geroid & Collette Burke and all who worked on it, including my own Uncle Tommie.

Ross Abbey - Headford, Co.Galway

Pinteen Frundeen

Ask Seanin and Fabe what they miss most about home? Odds are, near the top, they will say a pint of porter from the Tavern, its only pure muck in yanky land. Well lads "tanks a millin" for all the laughs and all the womits in Boston, twas surely a grand ol time of it abroad in it.

So I decided to get ye both an ol pinteen and seein ye were not there to sample it, I drank it meself, and twas lovely. Of course everyone knows that if ya wanna an early pint, you have to head to Lynch's bellow in Clonbur and thats where these 2 fine specimans were bought and sampled.

Lookin forward to meeting you both again soon frundeens, for a session of ill drink 20pints and ill drive. And a "ha-ha-half wan".

The Tavern - I'm home!

WIllie V Wommie with a splash od Sandy D

Do yourself a favour and go sample some of the experience that is the Tavern in Cloughanover, Galway. Just out the Headford Road. Tell the publican, Willie Campbell that I sent ya!

Not only does the memory of the porter there reduce lads Across the Atlantic to tears, but there is no pub on earth quite like it! With five bars to choose from and more characters than a Beano Annual.

Thanks for the laughs kids, looking forward to a boogie in the greenroom soon!!

Im taking bookings....

Im taking bookings ladies for these fine young Irish men, should you wish to know more post your details in the comments and ill make sure that they receive them!! Hens nights, parties, wakes!!

I honestly didn't think that the dress code in Heneghans in Headford had lapsed so seriously in the two and a half years that I'd been away.

Day 1 of the Irish leg of my take over the world one pub at a time tour and the lads are already stripping, tis going to be one hell of a trip if Day one after flying in from Boston is anything to go by..

All good down in the Hood

I just could not believe that these lads had not heard of the siege of Ennis or Scribe!!

These lads from South Boston were great craic and good value, all at Coyote Ugly for the laugh.

Making Friends - Boston

Just another reason not to miss Coyote Ugly's in Boston, they let you sit on the bar if your tired!

Hangover Cures Needed... and fast!!!

This is going to be short and sweet, Im in Boston and I knew it would be a struggle but the hangovers are coming thick and fast and Im not the only one suffering.

We have even managed to mame a member of the party as he attempted to show off his Irish dancing skills to a few yanky girls... yes member down, Fabe is is on crutches.

Stay tuned for full reports of transit and all the trimmings, ive to top up the blood alcohol levels!

Border Cafe - Harvard Sq - Boston

When in Boston, make sure you get yourself to Harvard Sq to The Border Cafe.

When we met Joe Waldron in Boston, he was druelling at the mouth at the thought of dining at the Border Cafe, actually all the Waldrons had great reports and so we were all invited to sample the fare. Now I must conclude you get more food than the Mexican's could eat in a week and I advise anyone going there to stick with an entree and skip the main. The food is divine and Ive not sampled any Mexican better than this and I like an ol taco I have to say.

But it was the margaritas that Joe was fantasising about more than the food in the reports leading up to the Border experience. He informed me that after one margarita your smiling, two you cant knock the smile off your face and after three your walking with a swagger to your step, he did not proceed to tell me what happens after four...

When you order a margarita from the Border, your not just ordering a margarita, its more like a mind altering taste sensation arriving in a bucket. You can try them with or without the salt, both equally good and both equally potent. The first one I tried salted, the next three went down easier without.

A table of 12 and 37 margaritas later, and apparantly not the first time the Waldrons have had a bigger drinkls tab than food tab! (anyone with the correct figures please stick em in the comments, my memory has faded and will never be the same after that night!!) Its needless to say that the following sing song in a pub round the corner was a wee bit messy but twas a merry sight to behold all the same as five waldrons from both sides of the Atlantic, j, Cha and Fabe danced around, crutch in hand, and the token Aussie as i had been dubbed, (oh wo go jo) to Johnny Cash. Oh the craic is good, the craic is good.

Casualty Report - That Night - Cha asleep in the bar (again)
Morning After - Tag team Womit and Trad Starr, J and Seanin suspect
Girls have yet to report back!! As for Joe and O'Malley - ye bleedy bastards!!

Empire State Building NYC

Charles ~ Loretta ~ Jason Empire State Building New York City

Travel Tip - If your planning on going up the Empire State Building be prepared for one hell of a queue. To reach the summit and avail of the view, which is pretty impressive over NYC, be prepared to wait, and just when you think your near the top, better get ready to wait some more!! My advice if your hungover! Skip it! (Im still glad I went up J)

Night 1 Boston - The Burren

This was always going to be messy, it had been two and a half years since I'd met with J and Cha and almost three since seeing Seanin and Fabe. Oh wo go jo, ill drink 20 pints got nuthin on us.

Arrived in The Burren, Davis Sq. Sommerville, Boston, not far off twelve midnight, Trad Starr puts down the guitar and the holiday begins!

Im not sure that The Burren was really ready for what decended on a Wednesday night on a school night, Trad Starr kicking off preceedings with five Jagermeister (quickest way to consume 56 herbs i think the saying goes, and to poison yourself) and five pints.

Of course when this crew gets together, we dont do things in halfs, so another round of shots and another round of pints, followed by you guessed it another full round of the same, and then J, was not going to be left out, but what goes down, sometimes must come up, Cha managed to sink his shot, then put it back in the glass before hitting the toilets, casualty number one!

Fair play, he managed to come back and regroup, before it was time to head back to the lads 2 bed apartment. Why didnt somebody tell me that the pubs in Boston shut at 130am ?

Auckland - LA - Boston in one day!!

Flight one - Auckland to LA Leave Wednesday 2pm Arrive Wednesday 7am??

After rushing mad in Auckland for my last few days trying to get bank accounts closed, bags packed, and goodbyes said, I can tell you that it was a welcome relief to board the plane. Visions of being laid and sipping pina coladas on Air Tahiti never quite came to fruition to my dismay.

Five and a half hours later in Papeete the locals welcomed us with flowers, torrential rain, muggy conditions, and one hell of a security search. I thought we just needed to get fuel and maybe the cocktail shakers cause the inflight service left alot to be desired.

Seven hours later I was flying in free from haze over the surburban concrete playground that is LA. Six lane highways, traffic grids and flat landscape scattered with one story bungalows dotted with the occasional crystal clear blue swimming pool. Thankgod its only a stopover! This place is huge, over populated and grey. Its a far cry from the rolling green hills and expansive waterways flying out of Auckland.

Welcome to America, home of the brave, land of the free - that's if you can negotiate customs.

Ok let this be a little word of warning to anyone traveling to America.

1. Be prepared to get photographed, fingerprinted, handed the wrong entry card and then get dragged off for questioning as you try to get to the transfer desk.
2. Interrogated as to your purpose for entering the states even though you have a visitors entry visa and a ticket to leave the country in 10 days time.
3. Held for further questioning because you fail to produce the address of where your staying at the other side of the country.
4. Asked to produce more ID and asked could I verify the address of anyone I knew in the states. Told to go away and think about it.
5. So after a little prompting and some quick thinking I finally got to fill out the right entry card and botch a fake address. All i knew was Fabian was suppossed to be at the airport to pick me up, I had not expected to know all the details upon arrival in LA.
6. But wait, be prepared when your taking so long to get thru customs, of course your bags are going to be the last on the carousel. And of course this is another security breech and of course two lovely big customs officers are going to want to empty all my belongings out on the desk.

I must be looking particularly suspicious, but then again on a day when Bush is re-elected, this is a country that should be in fear of attack.

I finally find the transit lounge. Kerry and Bush are making final speeched on the big televisions in front of the cafe/bar, the crowd on the broadcast cheer as my fellow passengers in transit at LAX remain what can only be described as in shock and silenced by the result, heads shake in disbelief. Kerry concludes his speech by asking for prayer and finished with the token God Bless America spiel.

I suppose that with Bush again in power, this country needs all the help that they can get. The lady at the bar next to me orders a double, I quickly scan the breakfast menu and wonder what time is it. I remember hearing my mother once say when we were traveling that its always time for a stiff drink somewhere in the world. I pass on the double jack heartattack breakfast burito and order a JD instead.

Flight two - LA to Saltlake CIty
Four hours later Im flying above the Nevada Desert and approaching Saltlake city, snow caps appear in the Wasatch Mountains and I remember another time, when i had traveled overland to San Fran from New York and been almost blocked in by a blizzard on that same mountain range, almost seven years ago. America is a country of extreme landscapes that I agree. An hour stopover, change of plane and small bit of panic as Ive yet to make contact with Fabian and confirm what terminal I'll be landing in and the time. Lets hope he still has the contact details that were left on voicemail from Auckland.

Flight Three - Saltlake City - Boston
Ok so all i have to say is this, I left Auckland at 2pm Wednesday, arrived LA 7am Wednesday, depart Saltlake City 4pm and land in Boston at 11pm Wednesday. Ive been traveling for a total of thirty hours. You work it out.

Thankfully message has been received and good ol Seanin Bocht is there with Jason Sully and Cha to pick me up and drag me to the pub.